Marriage is a big step in life. You meet that person who you have fallen in love with, and you are both planning on starting a life together. While marriage is extraordinary and there are many benefits to being married, it can also be very hard at times, to the point where it may be time to think about when to get marriage counseling. Marriage counseling is a great way to help get through the problems that are affecting your marriage. There is a myriad of different things that can affect a marriage ranging all over a broad spectrum of things. Here are some reasons when you should think about getting marriage counseling.
Did you marry at a young age? Marriage is an exhilarating thought, but when you are young, you are still growing. You are trying to figure out what you want out of life. Maybe you are unsure of what you want, so marriage to your sweetheart seems like a great idea at first. Unfortunately, over time that fire may start to dwindle and fade away. This is where marriage counseling is a great idea. They can provide excellent tips on how to rekindle that fire.
Perhaps early on in your marriage, everything was fantastic, you and your partner were having a great time, but then one of you may have developed a drug problem. This issue is severe and can definitely lead to problems in your relationship. This is an excellent example of when it is time to see a marriage counselor. The counselor will sit down with the both of you and figure out how to work through this issue and may even refer the afflicted individual to a specialist that can help with the drug problem.
One of the leading causes of divorce in the United States is financial issues. For example, both of the partners in the marriage have a good job that can support their healthy lifestyle. One day, one of the partners loses their job due to getting laid off or even fired for some reason. Now all of a sudden there is a ton of pressure on the marriage. This pressure is caused by the lack of income that is coming in to support the union. Marriage is a team effort, and if one of the “team members” is starting to fall back, it can be hard for everyone involved. This is a great time to see a marriage counselor, they can give great advice on how to work through this issue until the partner who has lost their job can find a new one so that the marriage can get back on track.
Domestic Violence is another culprit for when to see a marriage counselor. Perhaps one of the individuals involved in the relationship has a violent nature. Maybe they are someone who has a past of alcohol abuse, and when they drink, they have a tendency to become violent towards their significant other. Why this happens in marriages is hard to say, marriage is a beautiful thing that can make people happy for a lifetime, but marriage can also be very tough on the mind, especially in a situation involving abuse.
These are just a few of the many different reasons for when to see a marriage counselor. These counselors have heard it all, if you are having trouble in your marriage, consider seeing a marriage counselor.
What can you expect from having marriage counseling?
Right off the bat, it should be noted that what you can expect from marriage counseling is hard work. Any trusted marriage counselor will tell you that you are wise to invest the time and effort into improving your marriage but to also keep in mind that there are no guarantees. For marriage counseling to be as effective as possible, both parties need to be willing to put in the effort and work hard. Marriage counseling is not only for people who are suffering from the potential of divorce due to many reasons (some of which are listed above). Marriage counseling can also be a great way to strengthen the bonds that the couple has. It is a great way to see parts and aspects of your marriage in a different light.
What will happen during marriage counseling?
That marriage counselor will bring in couples or partners together for joint therapy sessions. From here the counselor will pinpoint and understand the sources of conflict within the relationship and try and solve them. This is not a process that can be solved in an instant. One must realize that counseling requires multiple sessions to see results. There is no doubt that the key to a healthy relationship is excellent communication. In marriage counseling, if you didn’t know that already, you will be taught how to communicate correctly with your significant other. You will learn how to be more open, you learn how to solve problems better more rationally when they arise. If there is a substance abuse problem within the relationship, then the counselor may want to help by having another professional come in and help with that specific issue.
It is okay knowing that discussing the problems in your relationship may not be easy. It may actually be almost impossible some days where you, your partner and the counselor all sit in silence. Bringing the fight from home to the counseling session is also okay. Fighting and yelling are not uncommon in this setting, but as long as the words are getting out, it is all for the betterment of the relationship. A good marriage counselor won’t take sides during these disputes, they will simply act as a mediator or “referee” to help cope with the turmoil of the situation.
Here is what happens on both sides of the spectrum.
On one side, you and your partner may end up finding that things are getting better after a few sessions You are both communicating better and working through the issues.
On the other hand, you may realize that the issues that you are both having are irreconcilable. From this point, it may be best to end the relationship.
Another situation that may happen is one of the partners may not want to go to the counseling sessions. It is okay if one of the partners will attend the sessions. It will be more difficult to mend the tears in the relationship if only one of the partners attends. It is still always very beneficial to participate in these sessions even if only one of the partners is in attendance. This way someone will learn how to help further the relationship over time.